Church of the Epiphany
Church of the Epiphany
The following guidelines are intended to assist Church Personnel in monitoring and supervising behaviors and interactions with children and youth to identify and stop those that:
These guidelines should also be used by church staff and volunteers to make decisions about interactions with children and youth in church-sponsored and -affiliated programs. They are not designed or intended to address interactions within families. When exceptions to these guidelines must be made, individuals should use their best efforts to find reasonable alternatives that adhere as closely as possible to the guidelines and the exception should be reported to the supervisor of the Church Personnel, in this case the Rector, making the exception known as soon as possible.
1. All Church Personnel who work with children or youth must agree to read and comply with the Church of the Epiphany Guidelines for Appropriate Affection, below.
2. No person will be allowed to volunteer to regularly work with children or youth until the person has been known to the clergy and congregation for at least six months.
3. Programs for infants and children under four (4) years old will have procedures to ensure that children are released only to their parents or legal guardians or those designated by them.
4. Church Personnel are prohibited from the use, possession, distribution, or being under the influence of alcohol, illegal drugs, or the mis-use of legal drugs while participating in or assisting with programs or activities specifically for children or youth.
5. Parents or guardians must complete written permission forms before Church Personnel transport children and youth for a church-sponsored activity or for any purpose on more than an occasional basis.
6. Church Personnel will respond to children and youth with respect, consideration and equal treatment, regardless of sex, race, religion, sexual orientation, culture or socio-economic status. Church Personnel will portray a positive role model for children and youth by maintaining an attitude of respect, patience, and maturity. They will avoid even the appearance of favoritism.
7. One-to-one counseling with children or youth will be done in an open or public or other place where private conversations are possible, but occur in full view of others (e.g. an office with a windowed door or clear view from the outside).
8. Church Personnel are prohibited from dating or becoming romantically involved with a child or youth.
9. Church Personnel are prohibited from having sexual contact with a child or youth.
10. Church Personnel are prohibited from possessing any sexually-oriented materials (magazines, cards, videos, films, clothing etc.) on church property or in the presence of children or youth, except as expressly permitted as part of a pre-authorized educational program.
11. Church Personnel are prohibited from using the Internet to view or download any sexually-oriented materials on church property or in the presence of children or youth.
12. Church Personnel are prohibited from discussing their own sexual activities, including dreams and fantasies, or discussing their use of sexually-oriented or explicit materials such as pornography, videos or materials on or from the Internet, with children or youth.
13. Church Personnel are prohibited from sleeping in the same beds, sleeping bags, tents, hotel rooms or other rooms with children or youth unless the adult is an immediate family member. It is acceptable to have multiple adults sleep with all the children or youth participating in one open space such as a church basement or camp lodge.
14. Church Personnel are prohibited from dressing, undressing, bathing, or showering in the presence of children or youth, except in situations where only communal facilities are available, in which case reasonable modesty should be used.
15. Church Personnel are prohibited from using physical punishment in any way for behavior management of children and youth. No form of physical discipline is acceptable. This prohibition includes spanking, slapping, pinching, hitting, or any other physical force. Physical force may only be used to stop a behavior that may cause immediate harm to the individual or to a child, youth or others.
16. Church Personnel are prohibited from using harsh language, degrading punishment, or mechanical restraint such as rope or tape for behavior management.
17. Church Personnel are prohibited from participating in or allowing others to conduct any hazing activities relating to children’s or youth ministry or camp activities.
The Diocese of California and Church of the Epiphany are committed to creating and promoting a positive, nurturing environment for our children’s and youth ministries that protect our children and youth from abuse and our Church Personnel from misunderstandings. When creating safe boundaries for children and youth, it is important to establish what types of affection are appropriate and inappropriate, creating a well-understood standard for each individual to reference. Stating which behaviors are appropriate and inappropriate allows Church Personnel to comfortably show positive affection in ministry, as well as to identify and educate individuals who are not maintaining safe boundaries with children or youth. These Guidelines were developed referencing, in large part, behaviors known to be used by child molesters to groom children or youth and their parents for future abuse.
The following guidelines are to be carefully followed by all Church Personnel working around or with children or youth:
1. Love and affection are an essential part of church life and ministry. There are many appropriate ways to demonstrate affection while maintaining positive and safe boundaries with children and youth.
Some positive and appropriate forms of affecti
2. The following forms of affection are considered inappropriate with children and youth in ministry setting because they have the potential to be misunderstood and many of them are the behaviors that child molesters use to groom children or youth and their parents for later molestation or can be, in and of themselves, sexual abuse:
Inappropriate or lengthy embraces.
Kisses on the mouth.
Holding or restraining children over three years old on the lap.
Touching bottoms, chests or genital areas other than for appropriate diapering or toileting of infants and toddlers.
Showing affection in isolated areas such as bedrooms, closets, staff-only areas or other private rooms.
Occupying a bed with a child or youth.
Touching knees or legs of children or youth.
Wrestling with children or youth.
Tickling children or youth.
Piggyback rides.
Any type of massage given by a child or youth to an adult.
Any type of massage given by an adult to a child or youth.
Any form of unwanted affection.
Comments or compliments (spoken, written, or electronic) that relate to physique or body development. Examples would be, “You sure are developing” or “You look really hot in those jeans.”
Snapping bras or giving wedgies or similar touch of underwear whether or not it is covered by other clothing.
Giving gifts or money to individual children or youth.
Private meals with individual children or youth.
Last Edited: July 7th, 2o07